The last number of weeks has been really hard for a lot of people in our world. Really hard. Like, life-shatteringly hard.

One after another, I’ve received messages from people I love, walking through hard things.

One says, “I’ve been wanting to tell you, but didn’t know how.”

Another says, “I hesitated to ask for prayer, but I really wanted to.”

A beloved friend says, “I wasn’t going to show up, because I was afraid to.”

And, yet another says, “I just want to hide.”

And one friend? That brave one says, “I don’t know what to do. This is a complete mess. I really need help.”

We all have those days, weeks or seasons, don’t we? Where we’re afraid to be seen in the midst of our mess, because we forget that we’re not perfect and think that we can’t show up until we’ve figured it all out. Where we feel our shame at not knowing how to fix it all – or even to fix ourselves. And honestly? I can feel a bit overwhelmed by the need – afraid I don’t have what it takes to help.

We forget courage and real help come not from us, but from the God who goes before us. The One who says, “I am with you.”

And we have good reason to hide, or to not show up, or to hesitate. Experience might tell us that we don’t matter. And there is a liar, always ready to whisper “did God really say…?” in our ears, reminding us of the all the other times that people let us down.

In October, I had the chance to share dinner with a group of friends and Sheila Walsh, to share our experience with her book, “It’s Okay Not to Be Okay.” (A book that each one of those friends I mentioned above needs right now. Read through to the bottom to find out how you can get a copy!) The most powerful thing that evening, to me, was how, one by one, women in leadership – who look like they have it all together – shared that they’re also not okay. How it was tough to even get away for a few hours that evening to be with friends (which I so resonate with.)

There is power and courage in going first.

And you’ve likely heard me talk about giving others the gift of going second. Sharing our story, in courage, so that others can share theirs as well. And when they share, listening. Not one-upping, or comparing ourselves. Listening with compassion. Creating a safe space for each other that way. Let’s be those safe women for each other.

There’s a Bible story that I learned really young. One that was dramatic, even on flannel-graph. One about how Jesus was teaching some proud, full-of-themselves, holier-than-thou men. While they sat there, some friends carried a man who could not move his body, to meet Jesus. When they couldn’t get into the house where he was teaching, they dug a hole in the roof to lower their friend down in front of Jesus.

And Jesus? He called the man who could not walk, Friend. He gave him dignity. His words healed the man’s heart, before they healed his circumstances.

When we are women who are safe, we become the women who help others show up. Let’s be the women who go beyond listening to being stretcher-bearers for the wounded.  Let us do what it takes – digging holes in roofs, if need be – to bring our friends to Jesus, who removes all shame. Who removes all fear. Who knows our need. Who sees all and knows all and loves us – not just in-spite of ourselves, but just as we are. Who reminds us that it’s really okay to not be okay, because at that place, we discover He is what we really need. Who calls us friend, heals our hearts, and then redeems our circumstances.

Friend, that is real courage.

Showing up in the midst of our mess, alongside each other, to find healing and strength for our souls from the One who knows us, calls us by name and removes all shame. It’s there we find the hope our hearts long for.

Want a copy of “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay”? You can find it at your local Christian bookstore, or wherever you like to buy books, or comment below to enter to win two copies – one for you, and one for a friend! (Available to readers with Canadian addresses only.)

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