What I Want My Daughter To Know…
Oh friends, as I watch my daughter grow and change and observe how shockingly fast all the children around us grow up, there are so many things I realize I want her to know, although what it seems I say minute-by-minute sounds mostly like the parent-version of a traffic cop.
In the midst of it, I’m afraid that I might forget to tell her something terribly important, or neglect teaching her a lesson that just slipped by, simply because the days on our calendars zip past and the hours between waking and sleeping seem far too short to pack it all in. Or worse, teach her lessons silently that I wish she’d never picked up on.
So, this – in the busiest of months – is my feeble attempt to record 31 things that I really want this child of my heart to know as she ventures out into our world. This world that can provide unending opportunity, and at the same time chew up our dreams and hearts and value. These thoughts will not be perfect, and I’m sure that I’ll want to rewrite them and think of 31 more things over and over again. They will, however, be real. My hope is that, beyond being something I can share with my Sweet Girl one day, they encourage your heart as a parent to write and share your own 31 Things.
Day 1: God Gave Us You
Sweet One, there is absolutely no shred of doubt in my mind and heart that God gave us you. I know that your life is a good and perfect gift to us – a shockingly beautiful gift, this absolutely undeserved grace that your Daddy & I get to unwrap every single day. We prayed for […]
Day 2 – Be Thankful
Dear Girl – you’re two now, and awfully proud to hold up two pudgy fingers when we ask you how old you are. And although you can’t say “birthday” you certainly like saying “happy”. That’s right you know, it’s more about celebrating a happy day than about marking another year. Ever since you came home, […]
Day 3 – Laugh Often
Child, you have a great laugh. It mostly comes out when we chase you or tickle you, and it’s awfully infectious. Your Mama can be a bit serious at times, intensely focused on the task before her, and I promise I’m working on this because really, I want to laugh more with you. Once upon […]
Day 4 – You’re Beautiful
There is a song on the radio right now, with a super-catchy beat, and when it came on the other day you clapped and danced along to it. I did too. But then I listened to the words, Dear Girl, and I cringed. I hate that our world will teach you that your beauty comes […]
Day 5 – Rest
Dear One, we were created for rhythms of work and rest. Just as a good yeast-dough bread needs to rest before in the process of being shaped into its nourishing, delicious final form, we need to relax to develop and grow into what we were made to be. It’s part of this wild goodness and […]
Day 6- Allow Your Heart to Be Broken
Child, there are things in this world that will break your heart. Things that will be so painfully difficult to understand. Things like babies who are abandoned at birth, which can shatter a heart into a thousand pieces, and haunt your memories as you try to reconcile them with your own circumstances and story of […]
Day 7 – Burn Brightly
My dear girl – if you are anything like your Mama, there will be days when you have this fire in your bones, and your mind cannot hardly process quickly enough to combine words that express what you’re feeling and thinking and dreaming. Oh, I want you to have those moments. Such clarity and purpose […]
Day 8 – You’re not perfect (& that’s okay)
Child, we adore you. Really. It’s obvious, because when you asked Daddy last weekend for a puppy, I saw his iron-clad resolve start to crack, just a little. We think you’re extraordinary, truly, in so many ways. That’s the way it should be, I think – finding freedom in never wondering whether your parents believe […]
Day 10 – Seek Wisdom
Once upon a time, your Mama put some pieces together and realized that wisdom was what I needed most. I read the promise that if we lack wisdom, we can ask God, who would give it to us generously, without finding fault (because truly, I’ve never felt very deserving of wisdom, for all my own […]
Day 11 – Choose Your Friends Carefully
Child, we hear so often that you look just like us. So very often. It’s wonderful and it’s funny, and it’s stunning and we just think that’s just the way God works, as He forms families. I’m so very proud that you look like me, Child. Amazed that a child of my flesh would possibly […]
Day 12 – Choose Thanks Living
It’s Thanksgiving, Dear One. The day we normally give thanks by roasting a thirteen- pound bird, eating Grandma Medd’s dressing, and then extend the joy with meaty bones to make a giant pot of turkey soup. Oh, I’m so very thankful for this opportunity to be your Mama and to teach you these things too. […]
Day 13 – Be Fully Alive
Dear One, you are already a girl after my own heart. It is so fun to see how, already, you want to wear necklaces and jewelry. You love shoes, and ask every morning for a bow in your hair. Although you’re only two, you watch me carefully and know how to use a flatiron. This […]
Day 14 – Don’t be Nice
Child, if I teach you to be nice, I’ve failed you. Nice is agreeable, pleasant, satisfactory, but not terribly satisfying. What I want you to know, is that our world doesn’t need more nice people. Our world needs more soul-deep good, kind, joyful people. People who are so full of good that when you spend […]
Day 15 – Listen to Your Mother
Dear One, I want you to know that you should listen to your mother. You see, I wish I had taken more time over the years to listen to my own Mama, and now I’m trying to catch up. Days move quickly, and sometimes I realize that it’s been a week since I picked up […]
Day 16 – On Birthdays
Darling girl, the day you were born, I do believe the angels sang and celebrated your first birth day party. You are a glorious creation, a breathtaking piece of art with a unique voice, story, mind and talents. There is no one else exactly like you. Today is my birthday. I suspect that my parents […]
Day 17 – There will be times
There will be times, Child, when it feels like the rug has been pulled from beneath your feet, and you’re shaken to your core. These times will come when you least expect it. Days when gunshots ring through Parliament and the supposedly safe country you live in seems confused and shocked and without answers. Days […]
Proud
Child, I’m rarely more proud to be a Canadian than on November 11th. We listen to readings of In Flanders’ Fields as a lone trumpeter plays The Lament, and then the determined yet heart-aching bag piper marches on and on and on. We see live images of stoic, teary-eyed veterans in decreasing numbers year after […]
Ten Thousand Villages
Over the past couple of years, our family’s perspective on fair trade has completely shifted from being something ‘nice to do’ to being something ‘important to remember’. I’m so grateful to take my “What I Want My Daughter to Know” series over to the Ten Thousand Villages blog today. Join me there as I talk […]
Gathering In as the World Unravels
On Monday, I watched as a town unraveled in a matter of minutes. Many of us did, I suspect, as unmasked reporters choked on tear gas, shots rang out, and fires erupted. It would be so easy to say, “not my people, not my mess, not my country,” but I know that in my country, […]
On Long Goodbyes and Exchanging Ashes for Beauty
Child, I want you to know that sometimes there are no words, and questions hit us deep, and really, we’re inadequate in expressing, let alone understanding, the ache of a world that doesn’t make sense. When there are so many ashes, and it’s hard to see beauty. Because honestly, we want everything to be okay, […]
